The Pursuit of Happiness

From the pit You took me

And placed me on Your lap like a little girl welcomed home

No longer am I lost

You found me and called me Yours

In ashes I was covered

As depression and self-hatred were my shield

No one could come near

But

You

Who desires me above all other things

Ran after me

You would not leave me alone

You kept pushing

You would not give up on me

Even in the darkest of times You were there

I thank You for Your faithfulness in my life

Your love that never fails

Your tender whispers revealed Your heart

Only You have satisfied my soul

You are now my everything

And I will never let go

I will never let go

The Greatest Thing You’ll Ever Know

Love

Has been my best friend

And worst enemy

Love

Can be damaging at times

You give your heart

Receive

Nothing

You give it your all

Receive

Nothing

You try to work things out

Receive

Nothing

People say love is the answer

People say that love can cure anything

If love can cure

Then why do the suffering

Suffer

Why does the hate

Rage on

Why are the sick

Dying

Why are the broken-hearted

Shattered

If all we need is love

Then why are we all scared to love

We want to see change

But the change must begin from within

Without suffering

There would be no

Compassion

Without hate

There would be no

Hope

Without ever having a broken-heart

There would be no

Healing

A life without love

Is no life at all

Is love worth all these things?

Once Upon a Time at Cinder Falls

A silent alarm fills the air

A blanket of wintry white

The trees in a deep slumber

My men in their foxholes

Waiting for the unknown

Death walks among us

These men of Easy Company

My soldiers

My brothers

As I walk among them I look into their faces

They are not the same as they once were

Joy has abandoned them

Fear consumes

The icy wind begins to burn through them

I tell the men the nightmare is almost over

Deep in my mind

The horrors I start to replay like a jammed up movie

Sounds that will haunt me forever

Faces full of despair never leave my sight

What hope is there?

That beautiful snowy day would soon turn into the nightmare that was to happen

Bullets grazed my face

Shells awaken the trees

Men scatter

I cried out to my brothers yet I hear nothing at all

Get in the damn foxhole I scream to myself my back away from the enemy

I begin to laugh

As I looked up to the sky and I saw fireworks not bullets

Not dead bodies but the 4th of July

Silence

No

Screams

I ran to the others

My brothers crying out for help

Instead of the smiling faces I remembered so long ago

Screaming in agony

Blood trails everywhere

My men were freezing

Dying

I felt helpless

When I look back to that day of days

I will never forget that my brothers and I stood together alone.

Freedom

Darkness had once consumed me

A long time ago

The father of lies

Abandoned me

Left me naked on the ground

His lies

Hatred

Selfish ambition 

Was like a blanket where I could find the way out

Abuse 

Pain 

Suffering 

Tears 

Like a waterfall stream down my cold wet face

My suffering is like the vast ocean

Never seeming to end

Tears keep falling

Mother couldn’t help herself so why would she help me

Father wasn’t around so why would he save me

Love is all I ever wanted

To be daddy’s little girl

Someone to talk to 

To be free

Free from this curse that envelopes my very being

I need to breathe 

But I suffocated in my tears 

Drowning in agony

I was lost

Alone

Dying

A slow and terrible death

 

Until 

The sound of the waking dawn came calling

He showed me love

Truth 

Freedom

My Father is there

By my side

He was there in the dark hours 

Through the many tears

He was there

He showed me everyday

But these blind and scabbed eyes could not see it

Every time I wake

He has given me life

The one thing my heart has desired

The freedom that comes… 

The unconditional love that comes…

The Man that satisfies

He is here 

Within 

 

My footsteps will still be in the sand

As the ocean waves try to wash their appearance 

My presence will still be there 

Waiting

Watching

For the love I have been longing for

My whole life 

What is this love my heart longs for?

Who is this person, that I desire?

Come blow upon this heart that is barely hanging on

Speak to me oh wise mouth

Take my hand and let us leap together

I will take you and we will fly

I am ready

I am ready to fall into Your loving embrace

I am ready to live for You

My Beloved I am ready

 

A Thousand Pieces

I can’t write

I am lost for words

I can not look in to your eyes

I can not feel love

Yours words to me were of comfort and kindness

And all I could offer you was hurt and sorrow

Thorns and needles

I just let them pierce you

Without even a care

I let you drain through the white sheets

I am a cold 

Broken

Denied time and time again

My heart was like a burning fire

Like a spirit waiting to be risen among the ashes

It calls my name

But I can not

For my flesh and spirit are too far gone 

Numb

Dead to the world

Now you are too far for me to reach

I begin to doubt 

Your breath is my oxygen

Why can’t we love

I’m scared

Tears stream down my cold hard cheeks

I can not

I can not love

I can not feel

I can not give you my all

It is lost in the black hole

It will never come back

I want to love you

I want to try

Fear has surrounded me

Left in the darkness

Naked and alone

But then you came

I thought I could never feel this way again

My heart arises from the grave

Buried beneath the dust I awake

My heart beats slowly against the rocks on the shore

Your body next to mine

Forever and always I am free

A Little Piece about Nothing and Everything

Sitting in the chair

Having nothing to say and nothing to do

I wait

I wait for your tender Spirit to come and awaken this un lively heart

The drums beat to match the rhythm of your Native American feet as you dance night and day

Day and night you see

The injustice that goes around in everyone’s head like those cartoon birds swirling around a cat

How ironic it is that the noise around is what helps us to be still and wait

Interesting that you don’t work like that

You in majesty and glory

Are always in the wilderness

Always hiding

Not from your beloved ones

But to beckon

To come dance to the wild beat of Your heart

How I long to dance with the King and yet I am afraid of the shadows that lie ahead of me

For what will I find in the deep and wild

I fear the darkness will overcome me if I do not find you before the night comes

Yet my curious eyes wander and excitement overturns the fear as I step in

I am overwhelmed by the smell of pomegranate and honey that causes me to thirst

I climb the mountain that lies before me and look to see the view

As far as the eye can see the land that lies before me is lush in greens, yellows, blues and everything in between

Tears stream down my face

I don’t know why

But I am so happy to be alive

And then a hand forms around mine and I look to see my Maker

My lover

My friend

You wrap your arms around me as we watch the sun set

Every dark deed that had an assignment today

Has ceased

For today I am alive

Free and loved

Some may think this has nothing to do with anything but I beg to differ, it has everything to do with everything

You see, you are the one sitting or standing, or whatever reading this little letter about nothing and yet something stirs within you

You can’t quite make out what it is, but you are burning

You can be the one to step into the wilderness

Climb the mountain

And let Him love you

The question remains will you do it?

Will you run into the nothing to gain everything…